Irresponsibly Single

So let me explain...

I am irresponsibly single. It means I KNOW I am not prepared to be with someone.

No, it's not because I'm sad, jaded, or angry. (I used to be but we'll save that for another day.)

No, it's not because I don't love myself, have low self-esteem, or lack confidence. (I actually love and like myself very much.)

It's simply because I'm lazy. Yup, lazy.

It takes energy to be with someone else. I barely have enough energy to deal with me after work and classes. I am irresponsibly single because I like knowing that when I look at my phone in a couple of hours nothing will be waiting for me.

Irresponsible because I don't want to have to keep track and regulate someone else's emotions. Shoot, sometimes I don't even bother with my own feelings.

I be like "oh, you feeling emotional sis? Let's watch Netflix 'til we fall asleep."

Phew, glad I dodged that for the night (LOL).

Aye, it might sound unhealthy but please nobody always wants to deal with emotions. Even better, are the moments where you just talk to the Good Lord Jesus and it's straight.

Irresponsible because I CAN cook but that doesn't mean I want to or will most nights. There have been plenty of nights I've eaten air for dinner just so I could get more sleep. Ha! Sleep is good.

When I get ready to go to bed the only one I have to speak with is God. Nobody is texting me asking me "Wyd?" 30 times like an illiterate soul because he cannot hold a conversation.

I'm too selfish to be unselfish right now. What would I do with another human?

I look at it like this:

I'm taking care of a cactus, me! I don't need much and can survive with very little attention. It's quite amazing.

(#irresponsible #single #relationship)

Rant Irresponsibly!